How to choose your care team for your birth?
You are pregnant, congratulations! After the joy and excitement of the news, here come the endless questions, the retroactive planning, and the growing to-do list… And it can feel overwhelming! So let’s talk about one of the 1st decisions you have to make while pregnant: Who's going to be with me for this journey?
If you’re new here, Hi! I’m Fanny, the founder of Orchid & Olive Perinatal and I’m passionate about supporting families through the childbearing year (i.e, pregnancy, birth and postpartum).
In this post, I’m going to walk you through the process of finding YOUR people, for YOUR birth. But first, why does it even matter?
Choosing your birth care team isn't about finding the "perfect" provider or the "best" birthing place. It's about finding the right fit for YOU, a team and a setting that align with your values, your hopes, and your unique vision for birth.
When there's a mismatch between what you want and what your care team offers, it can leave you feeling unheard, pressured, or disappointed in an experience that deserves to feel empowering. But when everything aligns, you'll feel supported, confident, and held through one of life's most transformative moments.
So, let’s go!
Start with Reflection: What Matters Most to You for Your Birth ?
Before anything else, take some quiet time to reflect on what you truly want. This isn't about what you heard other people say or what worked for them. It's about YOUR values and YOUR preferences.
Grab a journal or sit with your partner, and explore these questions:
Your Birth Philosophy
What is your general approach to healthcare? Are you drawn to holistic care that trusts the body's wisdom, do you appreciate the security of medical support, or do you blend both perspectives?
What kind of birth experience do you hope for? Are you open to interventions if needed, or dreaming of a home birth or birth center experience?
Your Non-Negotiables
What criteria are essential for you? Think about things like shared decision-making, having a provider who truly listens, continuity of care (meaning, the same provider supports you through pregnancy, birth and postpartum).
Who do you envision at your birth? Your partner, a friend, a family member, a doula, a photographer?
Your Practical Realities
What are your location, budget, and insurance coverage considerations?
What language support might you need?
Are there specific cultural practices you want honored during your birth?
There are no right or wrong answers here. A parent hoping for an unmedicated home birth has different needs than someone who values access to immediate medical interventions. Both deserve a care team that respects and supports their vision.
Understand Your Birthing Options: Providers and Birth Settings
Once you're clearer on what matters to you, it helps to understand the landscape of care. Let's look at your main options.
Types of Providers
Midwives typically take a more holistic, hands-off approach. They tend to view birth as a natural physiologic process and often provide more time during appointments for questions and connection. Midwives can attend births at home, in birth centers, or in hospitals.
Obstetricians (OBs) are trained as surgeons and specialists in managing high-risk situations. They often view birth through a lens of risk management and active monitoring.
Family doctors are less typical but also attend births in some communities, often bringing a whole-family care approach.
That said, every provider is a unique person with their own philosophy. Some OBs practice very similarly to midwives, and some midwives are more intervention-oriented. This is why asking questions is so important!
Birth Settings
Home birth offers the intimacy of your own space, with a midwife providing one-on-one care. It's ideal for low-risk pregnancies and parents who want minimal intervention.
Birth centers provide a middle ground: a homelike environment with midwifery care, but with some medical equipment and often close proximity to a hospital.
Hospitals offer the full spectrum of medical support, from epidurals to operating rooms.
Other Team Members
Don't forget about the other people who can support you:
Doulas provide continuous physical, emotional, and informational support before, during, and after birth. We help you navigate decisions, offer comfort measures, and advocate for your preferences (Ok, maybe I’m biased, but the research backs up our value!).
Partners, family, and friends each bring their own form of support and love. While this kind of support is wonderful, keep in mind that you need to be comfortable being vulnerable (and very likely naked!) around them. They should bring a sense of love and safety, not add stress and concerns to your plate.
Make the Decision for Your Birth: Interview Like You're the Employer
Here's a mindset shift that can be really empowering: You're interviewing providers, not asking permission to be their patient. You're hiring someone for one of the most important roles in your life right now.
When You Already Know Your Birth Setting
If you've decided where you want to give birth, your search becomes more focused. Look for midwives or OBs who have privileges at that location, or find a homebirth midwife in your area.
When You Already Have a Provider
Maybe you love your regular midwife/Family Doctor/OB-GYN and want to continue with them, that's wonderful! It's still worth having a conversation about their approach to birth, specifically. Sometimes, providers we adore for annual checkups have a very different style when it comes to labor and delivery.
Many providers work in group practices, which means you might not know who will actually attend your birth until you're in labor. Ask if you can meet the whole team to ensure alignment across the board. Sometimes, practices have surprisingly different philosophies among their providers.
Ask about the hospital/birth center where they have privileges/they transfer patients to, then tour the facility and gather information about things like NICU level, nurse-to-patient ratios, and policies around things that matter to you (ex: eating, monitoring, support people, doulas…etc).
When You're Starting from Scratch
Ask for referrals from friends, online parent groups, other healthcare providers, or local doulas. Be specific about the type of experience you're looking for when you ask for recommendations.
Questions to Ask Providers
Approach consultations with open-ended questions that reveal their philosophy and their stance on your non-negotiables. Here are some examples:
How do you feel about induction, intermittent fetal monitoring, episiotomy?
How do you feel about doulas and support people?
I’d like to [speak my language/practice a cultural ritual]. How can we make this possible?
How many births do you attend per month, and who covers when you're unavailable?
What is your cesarean rate, both overall and for first-time mothers?
What postpartum visits and support do you provide?
Situation-specific questions: How do you support Vaginal Birth After Cesarean (VBAC)? What's your transfer rate and process?
Pay attention not just to their answers, but to how they answer. Do they dismiss your questions? Give vague responses? Make you feel judged?
These are red flags. You deserve a provider who sees you as a partner in your care. If something feels off during a consultation, even if you can't quite put your finger on why, that's valuable information. A good provider-patient relationship is built on trust, and that trust should be present from the beginning.
Final Thoughts
Choosing your birth care team is one of the most important decisions you'll make during pregnancy. You deserve providers who listen, who respect your choices, who see you as the expert on your own body and your own baby. You deserve a birth setting that feels safe and supportive to you. And you deserve a team, whether that includes a doula, your partner, family, or friends, who holds space for you exactly as you are.
Ideally, start this process as soon as you know you are pregnant. But keep in mind it's never too late to switch providers if something feels off. Even at 36 weeks, you have the right to change your care team if the alignment isn't there.
Choosing the right team takes time and intention, but it's worth it. Start with reflection, explore your options with curiosity, and ask questions with confidence. You've got this!
Love and strength to you!
Want more of this? Visit my website at www.orchidoliveperinatal.com to explore my services, and follow along on Instagram @orchidoliveperinatal and LinkedIn for tips, evidence-based insights, and encouragement as you navigate your childbearing year.
