Andie’s Birth Story: A Wonderful Unmedicated Hospital Birth
Today, I'm excited to share the birth story of dear past clients of mine, Carissa and her husband Aaron. Carissa gave birth to her daughter Andie at the hospital, unmedicated, and describes it as a "wonderful birth experience."
If you're preparing for birth, you've probably heard plenty of scary stories from family and friends, saw movies that show emergencies and people screaming in pain and heard all about the risks of childbirth. It's no wonder so many people approach birth with fear. But Carissa and I want to offer you something different: proof that positive birth experiences are absolutely possible!
Yes, birth can be imperfect, messy and unpredictable. But it can also be powerful, joyful, and beautiful! By sharing Andie’s birth story, Carissa and I hope to give you a different perspective and help you trust your ability to birth your baby. Let’s look at it as an event to be excited about instead of dreaded!
Carissa's story is a wonderful example of what it looks like to tune into your intuition, trust your body, and go with the flow. It also beautifully captures the unique mental state of labor, what birth nerds like me call "laborland."
Happy reading!
My daughter, Andie, was born on Thursday, October 2 at 11:15pm. Here is our birth story.
During my pregnancy, I had a strong sense that I would deliver after the 40 week due date. My mom delivered late with my siblings and I, and I felt in my bones that the same would happen for me. I put in a lot of effort to stay healthy and active, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally during my pregnancy to achieve the goal of an unmedicated birth.
As I approached my due date, friends and family would ask how I was feeling about the impending due date. I always felt like this was a tricky question to answer, because I’d still be pregnant days after our due date. My guess was that she wouldn’t arrive in September at all. I was about 35 weeks along when I intuited that she would arrive the first week of October.
As 40 weeks rolled by, I was waiting to feel a powerful sense that “today was the day.” But, I never got that feeling. I felt so “normal” leading up to October 2 that there was no way I would have known that was her birthday. In those dates of pregnancy, I was feeling very lethargic. I felt slow to move. My body felt heavy. It was getting difficult to walk at a regular pace, do the dishes, or just about anything else. I relaxed in this, and just let my body feel however it needed to feel. I rested when I needed it. I went for (slow) walks when it felt right. During these final days, I felt so emotional knowing that my world was about to change forever. I felt so grateful to carry a beautiful baby during a beautiful pregnancy. I sensed that I was crossing a metaphorical bridge, about to reach my destination of Motherhood.
As each day passed, I waited for signs that my body was preparing to give birth. I had started whispering to Andie that she could come join us. I let her know that we were so excited to meet her, and that she would love life with us. I hoped that my subtle encouragement and calm energy would get things moving. Thankfully, it did.
On October 1, I lost my mucous plug. It was very surprising to see, and I am so glad that I got to see it. I went to the bathroom when I woke up that morning, and there it was. It looked like the grossest, but coolest worm sitting at the bottom of the toilet bowl. I was so excited to see a sign that my body was preparing for what was ahead. I kept an eye out for other bodily fluids, but I didn’t see anything else the rest of the day.
On October 2, I started feeling cramps, and I truly thought they were braxton hicks contractions. I had experienced some braxton hicks contractions on and off during pregnancy, and these cramps felt exactly the same. However, I did notice something that felt confusing. Nothing I was doing was making them go away…not a shower, hydration, food, etc. I had learned that typical braxton hicks contractions will stop if you move around or eat or something like that. The sensations I was feeling weren’t strong. I could be easily distracted, and I was not in pain. Essentially, I still felt like my normal self - able to laugh and do light activities.
Fanny and I scheduled a phone call for that afternoon, and she confirmed I was having real contractions. While that was exciting, I didn’t bother to time them or pay much attention to them at all, because they were a steady and light sensation. Nothing about it felt intense, which is
what I was waiting to experience to know that labor was beginning. I thought that based on this, I could go into labor on October 3. I was updating my husband along the way, and we decided to finish packing our hospital bags before going to bed that night. That evening looked like a normal evening for us. I did my usual wind down routine of listening to mindfulness meditations while stretching, and my husband cooked us dinner.
After dinner, while watching some TV, I noticed needing to breathe a little more intentionally during some of the contractions. This happened for such a short period of time, maybe a couple of minutes. I still didn’t feel like they were worth paying any attention. I remember telling my husband that I guessed I could be a few centimeters dilated, but that I likely had a lot of time until the contractions were worth paying attention to. I still wasn’t experiencing any pain, just some mild discomfort on occasion.
With our hospital bags packed, I started to feel really tired and ready for bed around 8:45pm. I wanted to get a good night’s sleep for whatever the next day might hold. My husband came to wish me goodnight and ask if I needed anything. I felt so sure that I was about to get some good sleep which is hilarious, because I was not sleeping well at all during the third trimester of pregnancy.
About 10 minutes later, while I was trying to fall asleep, I felt three intense back-to-back contractions. They were much stronger than what I had felt all day, and I needed to breathe very intentionally through them. To me, they didn’t feel any worse than my most painful period cramps, which have been very painful in the past. I was waiting to experience something that felt much more intense than my cramps. After the third contraction, my body relaxed. I remember thinking that I’d likely fall asleep soon.
Then, around 9:15pm, out of nowhere, I felt one huge contraction take over my body. It felt like a surge of energy. I felt incredible pressure in my pelvis. This was nothing I had ever felt before, and my body was overcome by tension. I needed to grip onto my pillow. I instinctively started vocalizing through the intensity, making loud, guttural moaning sounds. I was too in my body to realize this was exactly the sign I was looking for to know I was in active labor.
My husband heard me and came to check on me. I felt so relieved he had heard me, because I needed help getting out of bed. I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. He supported me as I waddled over to sit on the toilet. The intensity was unreal. I felt the most intense sensation to poop! Another sure sign of labor! I really wanted to push/poop, but I was afraid that would lead to pushing the baby out. I wasn’t sure what to do, and I was scared. He called Fanny and put her on speaker phone. I could hardly talk. There was just too much energy, pressure, and adrenaline building that I couldn’t form words. On the phone, Fanny asked me to feel down between my legs to see if I could feel a head. But, even these motions were too hard for me to fathom doing. I also felt so confused by what was going on. I was just feeling fine so how could there already (potentially) be a head to feel? She suggested we go to the hospital. Even at this time, a part of me wondered if it was still too early to go!
From there, it was a whirlwind and the intensity never stopped. The experience was very primal, instinctual, natural. My husband dashed around the house getting our bags and closing up the house. I slowly made my way to the car. My movements had to be very intentional and slow. It felt as if everything inside me was about to fall out, and any wrong or sudden movement would not be good. As soon as I was buckled in, I was gripping onto the car ceiling handle as the waves moved through me, moaning deep guttural sounds each time.
I was aware of everything happening around me as if it were a dream. My eyes were closed the entire car ride, but I could just barely open them to understand my surroundings. The car felt like it was speeding to the hospital, yet, it felt like the longest drive ever. I couldn’t talk at all. I could only moan and try to breathe deeply.
We pulled up to the front doors of the hospital, ready for me to get whisked in. I was so glad to have arrived, because I wasn’t sure if I was going to have a car baby! We arrived at the hospital around 10pm. A nurse brought a wheelchair for me, and this also felt very dreamlike - almost as if I were floating. In triage, the nurse asked me to undress and put on a gown, but I could barely take off my clothes. Moving was so hard. At this time I remembered thinking how I couldn’t care less about wearing the hospital gown instead of the special labor gown that I packed. Somehow, the gown was on, and I was instructed to lay on the bed for a cervical check. I never opted for a cervical check during pregnancy, so I didn’t know what to expect. I could feel the exact motion that had been shown to me for what a cervical check was, but there was no pain. I don’t remember hearing this at the moment, only learning later, that I was 9cm dilated.
Once we were done in triage, the nurse asked me if I wanted to walk up to the delivery floor or be wheeled up in a wheelchair. I remember thinking, how can you be asking me this right now? Clearly, I was in no state to walk. The contractions were so intense, and I felt as if I were between two worlds – in reality with everyone else and my own personal dream-like journey. Walking felt impossible. I blurted out “wheeled.”
Again, I was whisked into the elevator and then into the birthing center room. My husband was right there with me. During this entire time I didn’t have the awareness to see people’s faces or take in any big details. I do remember noticing that the lights were very bright – too bright. I just couldn’t wait to get into our room where I knew I’d feel a sense of safety that anything could finally happen. I was having intense contractions and couldn’t wait to get to our landing spot. It all felt so surreal, to be here, in this moment, doing what I had been preparing for for so long, but also so unsure of how our story would unfold. I remember opening my eyes just enough to see the birthing tub, the bed, and some of the medical equipment in our room. Someone must have helped me out of the wheelchair and onto the bed.
I think at this point, I landed on my side and Fanny put a peanut ball between my legs. She was rocking it and supporting my position. I don’t remember when Fanny arrived, but I was so relieved to hear her voice and know that she was there with us.
I don’t know how much time had passed, and I didn’t have a sense of direction of what to do. All I could do was feel and manage. There was so much pressure even though I wasn’t actively pushing. Suddenly, I felt a pop while laying on my side. Liquid gushed out and it felt like a water balloon had popped from inside of me. I realized that my water had not broken yet and this must have been it. I felt surprised by the sensation. I pointed downwards trying to signal to everyone that my water broke. After a second, no one responded, so I finally got out “I think my water just broke.”
At some point, I asked for the birthing stool. It occurred to me that I wanted to be on my hands and knees on the bed, but I didn’t have the strength to hold myself up.
In my birth preferences, I asked that no one coach me or tell me when to begin pushing. So, at some point, this natural reflex kicked in. There was so much pressure moving downward, it was the only thing that felt right to do. I was on the bed, with my body draped over the birthing stool, and my arms wrapped around it, clutching it tightly. I remember feeling the pressure of my fingers gripping the stool and my knees sinking into the mattress. I was in my own world with everything else hazy and dark around me. I could only hear voices around me.
My husband was right by my side the entire time. He was rubbing my back, my head, and encouraging me the whole way through. Fanny was also there encouraging me, and supporting my husband in his role. She reminded me to breathe deep and low and relax my perineum. They were such supportive anchors for me. At one point, I sensed that I was feeling sweaty. It was just then that I felt cold towels placed on the back of my neck, and it felt incredible. It was as if Fanny was reading my mind.
I don’t know how many pushes it took or exactly how long I was pushing for. When I think about it now, it didn’t take that long or that many pushes. I didn’t know how far away we were until I heard Fanny tell me she could see the baby’s head. That gave me such a rush of encouragement, and was exactly what I needed to hear to keep my focus and strength. At the end, there was one strong push. I could feel the baby in my birth canal, traveling down, and finally coming out. It felt like the biggest release, and “birth” I’ve ever experienced in my body.
Andie was born at 11:15pm. I heard the nurses say my baby was here and instructed me to turn onto my back in whatever way was comfortable for me. The birthing stool was moved, and I slowly turned over on my back. I remembered thinking what a surreal moment this was. It was an out of body experience to have something like this happen to me after I’ve seen it on tv, in movies, and read about it in books.
All of a sudden, this wondrous, crying, baby was placed on my chest. It was overwhelming in the best way possible. I was trying to take her in while also coming down from such an intense experience. Nurses were moving around me, working on me, and cleaning me up. A nurse was wiping down Andie while she was on my chest, still attached by her cord. I looked at my husband in awe, like wow, we just did this! Andie was crying, and I felt so much love for her, this precious little thing. I knew she had to have been so brave and strong to be born.
I was able to hold her for quite a while during our “golden hour.” I kept losing blood and the Doctor told me she wanted to administer Pitocin to stop the bleeding. I didn’t realize how much blood I was losing and asked if we could wait. She said no and that she needed to get it started right away. I lost about five times the amount of blood that is normal due to an internal hemorrhage. I was so high on adrenaline and distracted by having a new baby on my chest that I didn’t feel any effects of the blood loss. I’m thankful my team was able to act quickly and take care of me. The nurses continued cleaning me up and the OB stitched up my second-degree tear. I had never gotten stitches before, and felt like the pinching pain was very manageable since it would be over soon.
The baby nurse eventually took Andie to weigh her and take her vitals. She came out 8 pounds and 20” long. Amidst trying to process every detail of what occurred, I recognized that the experience I had was nothing like what I was expecting. I told Aaron and Fanny that it really wasn’t that bad, and that I’d rate the pain level about a 6 out of 10. The experience was full of pressure, intensity, adrenaline, and discomfort, but not the type of pain that I was anticipating.
Throughout my pregnancy, my hope was that Andie and I would be a team in her birth, our birth. I felt so strongly that we could work together to get her out in the safest, most easeful way without any need for medications or medical interventions. I am immensely grateful that we were able to do this together. I am so proud of myself and my body – for my clarity, focus, determination, and endurance. I am so proud of Andie – for her strength, endurance, and collaboration. I am so proud of my husband, for being our rock. And, I am so thankful to Fanny for being a steady and calm support to our growing family. Birthing Andie is by far the coolest, most wild thing I’ve ever done physically, mentally, and emotionally. I know that, together, we’ll be a pretty incredible family and team.
3 things that helped Carissa & Aaron prepare for birth:
Talking through the birth plan “because it helped me gain clarity on my preferences on a much wider scale than I had previously learned.”
Practicing labor positions. “Putting my body in the different labor positions to understand what felt natural (or very unnatural) in my body was so helpful in preparing my mindset for labor. After we did this, I was able to visualize how I would give birth -- and that is exactly what happened when it was time!”
The book Natural Hospital Birth by Cynthia Gabriel. “I cannot stress how impactful this book was for me and my mindset and expectations for what was to come.”
If Andie's birth story speaks to you and you're wondering how to create your own positive birth experience, let's talk. I'd be honored to support you on this journey.
